How to talk to loved ones about estate planning

Discussing estate planning with aging loved ones can be difficult. Both sides may hesitate to broach difficult topics involving end-of-life care and the decisions surrounding them. However, the probate process becomes much more difficult if your loved ones pass without an estate plan in place, as these plans lay out their wishes for the legacy they wish to leave behind.

Here are some ideas on how you can kickstart these difficult but important conversations, as well as some helpful tips for navigating them:

Find the right time to have the conversation

The best time to have this conversation is right now – putting it off won’t make it any easier. Above all, it’s important to stay calm and address the topics in a gentle, open manner. You may have to broach the conversation several times before your loved one is ready to open up, which is all the more reason to broach the topic sooner than later.

If you’re having trouble getting through to your loved one, you could bring in another family member or a trusted family friend who can help you approach this conversation with the nuance and compassion it requires. Additionally, you may consult an elder-care attorney to help with the planning and framing of the conversation itself.

Ask what, if any, plans they’ve already made

Your loved ones may have already started planning their estate, in which case it’s important to ask what documents they’ve already prepared and whether any of them need to be updated. You may discover that there are important pieces of the puzzle missing, or that their documents are now outdated since they’d originally been drafted a long time ago.

If they haven’t started planning their estate yet, think about some of the key matters you want to discuss. Health issues, medical insurance, help with making decisions in case of incapacity, help paying bills and keeping finances in order are some of the most common concerns in estate planning. What’s the plan if they become unable to manage daily tasks – think walking, dressing, preparing meals and bathing – on their own?

Decision-making can also become a challenge for some folks as they age. Does your loved one have a current power of attorney, living will and health care proxy? Have they appointed someone to act on their behalf if they become unable to make their own decisions? Who is this person? Who will be involved in their care, helping them make critical end-of-life medical decisions when the time comes? What are your loved one’s end-of-life wishes?

As heartrending as this all can be to consider, these are questions you must ask when helping your loved ones plan their estate.

Reassure them that they’re not alone

The estate planning process can be overwhelming and intimidating, and starting the conversation can feel like an uphill battle. The good news, though, is that your loved ones don’t have to endure it alone. In addition to support from family members, a trusted team of estate planning professionals can assist and guide your loved ones through the lengthy process. A J.P. Morgan advisor can help you coordinate this team of trusted professionals so that you can enjoy your loved ones’ golden years with them.

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